Of the many conflicts that happened, the following is one of the bigger ones.
It happened when I was in the first year of junior college. My class was seperated into groups of 4 to do project work and I was tasked to be group leader. Time was ticking and the deadline to hand up our 2000 word report was reaching faster than we would like it to be. We were only halfway through so we sent our work into overdrive. However, one of my group members, Ah Kow, did not feel the need to rush. He took his time to complete his parts and seldom contribute to ideas.
I remember it was the second last meeting we held for the project. There was only 2 weeks left before the deadline. That very morning, Ah Kow gave me a call saying that he will be unable to make it for the meeting. He was tied up with "family business" and told us to go on without him. I was mad, but since it was family business, it must had been important. I let it slip and told the rest of the group to continue.
During the meeting, we veered off course and had a serious discussion about Ah Kow. One of my group members suggested we gave him a call just to check whether he was done and maybe can still come down for the last part of our meeting. We were unable to get Ah Kow on his handphone so we gave his home a call. When we asked his mother where he was, she said he went to Orchard to do some shopping. We were furious. What shopping could have been more important than our project work?!
As a group leader, I was responsible for making the right choice on dealing with Ah Kow. Even though he was late in submitting his parts, his work was up to standard. If we were too harsh to him now, he might just give up his work and thus increasing our workload for the rest of the project (Not to forget, we share the grades in the end). However, we also have to put him in place and make him rethink about his priorities; project compared to shopping.
What should I have done? Let me know whether I did the right thing.
Source: http://ayushveda.com/blogs/business/files/2009/10/conflict2.jpg
February 10, 2010 at 3:00 AM
Hi Qinxian,
I would most probably agree with what you did, and I would most probably do the same thing either.
Before making the decision to fall it out with Ah Kow, we must also consider the impacts it would have on the rest of the team. What happens if Ah Kow gets pissed off and decided to drop all his work, relying on nice guys like you to finish up everything?
The best course of action at that point in time would be to compromise with his personality, and get the job done regardless. Anything else can wait until the project is finished.
I can screw up his peer reviews (which I believe is included in the project as well?), send him junk mail, viruses and many other petty crimes to make him realize his mistakes. (What I ‘can’ do, not necessary what I ‘will’ do.)
For me, what this Ah Kow person did is unforgivable. As a person, I would not have continued everything as if nothing had happened. But as a team leader, I must base my actions for the benefit of the team, and not give in to my personal views. A person, once a team leader, no longer belongs to himself. Instead he belongs to the team, and he must make decisions with the team’s interests in mind.
By the way, Ah Kow is... not a real name, right?
Cheers
Zhen Yong
February 10, 2010 at 4:53 PM
Hi Qinxian,
We do have the similar situations in our post.
It’s sad to know that you ended up with such a person like Ah Kow in your group. He must have been a burden to all of you because of his delinquencies.
If I were in your shoes, I will try to speak and confront Ah Kow face to face together with the team, as soon as possible. Beforehand, I will brief the other members not to be too harsh on him. After all, he is someone who can still contribute to the team’s success for the next two weeks. If he is simply kicked out of the group, just as you mentioned, it will impose even more burden to the rest of the group. The purpose of confrontation is to have every team member present and aware of what’s happening and make Ah Kow realize how important teamwork is to complete the project.
I believe that you made the right decision on handling Ah Kow's problem. It’s nice to hear that in the end, Ah Kow was able to contribute his part of the report. I’m pretty sure that you gained wisdom through this experience after dealing with Ah Kow’s unpopular kind of work ethics.
Regards,
Paul
February 10, 2010 at 5:08 PM
Hi Qinxian,
The way you presented your post is nice. As rightly pointed out conflicts are inevitable in one’s life and if not handled properly it may lead to sour relationships and sometimes can break the relationship too.
If I were you I would probably reacted the same way as you did. I personally feel that you had made the right decision by not showing emotions to Ah Kow after you came to now that he had bluffed you as it might affect the team. It is important to consider the impacts following it and I thing EQ plays a key role here. You had very well understood the situation and had reacted to it appropriately.
I personally feel that what Ah Kow has done is unacceptable in real context i.e. say your team is designing a project for a company, etc .In such cases it is better to be harsh with the team member ,as by doing so the designated work will be done before the deadline. Eventhough his work was upto standard, it doesn’t matter as he has submitted his part only after the stipulated deadline. In small situations like this, it doesn’t matter if you submit after the deadline. I would like you to advice Ah Kow to change his attitude,if not doing so it might spoil his career.
It was a pleasure to read your post.
With Regards
Santhosh
February 12, 2010 at 12:23 AM
Hi Qinxian,
Conflicts are a part of human nature and it occurs in every walk of life. These are something from which one can run but cannot hide.
If I were in your shoes I would react in the same manner as u did. Being a team leader one has to think from the perspective of a team and not from a personal point of view. With the deadline already so close and with lots of work to do, it would not be a good idea to confront Ah Kow. What if he gets pissed off and refuses to work along with the team? What if he behaves as if he understands and later on, just to finish everything on time, spoils his part of the work by degrading his standards? All this will not be good for the team!
Though what you could do is that you can talk to him at the end of the project so that he realizes that the way he has behaved is not good for effective teamwork.
I feel you would have learnt a lot about team management and leadership skills by handling this project. A very intriguing post indeed!
Cheers,
Saurabh Arora